Life is a constant stream of extremes. Only when we become aware of them, can we start to appreciate the middle ground between them.
I used to plan everything to a fault with lists, lists, and more lists. I didn’t know it at the time, but it kept me rigid and unable to experience the moment I was in. I was always thinking of my next move. I was in a constant state of disappointment – not understanding that making the lists was not equal to performing all the tasks on them. I was asking too much of myself and couldn’t keep up with my own demand.
Back in November, I was given 30 days to vacate my apartment after someone purchased the building. They purchased with an FHA loan and a requirement of that is to live on the property within 60 days. My apartment was apparently the most suitable for the new owner. I’d been paying month-to-month without an up-to-date lease agreement so I won the Get Out Award. You can imagine my horror when I got the phone call and realized I had no choice.
I quit planning ahead cold turkey right around then. I started to tRuSt in DiViNe timing. I surrendered to the process I could not control and found an intense and necessary new freedom in my life. My new home came to me with ease, the finances worked, and I suddenly seemed to have an abundance of free time to enjoy my life with. I was finally present in each moment and the awareness of how I’d been living unfolded. I bellowed in laughter at myself for pretending to have control for all those years. This venture kick-started my spiritual awakening.
So I
tried to plan it all
felt miserable and worthless when things didn’t go accordingly
let go completely
felt what it was like to go with the flow by its exact definition
and now…
Just as my ego began searching for praise for the personal and spiritual work I’d done to be here now, I’m realizing there’s just not enough structure in my day-to-day to feel grounded. 
I’m faced with a brand new opportunity – to find the true balance between the extremes of planning everything and planning for nothing.
You may feel you’ve figured it all out every once in a while. What a joyous feeling that is!! You can and should revel in those moments as they come. Just remember, like everything else, they are fleeting. Knowing our work is never done keeps us from losing hope when it’s time to adjust again.
Oh, what a privilege it is to always be expanding, evolving, learning, and L I V I N G .
Keep on
Keep hope
with love and light
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