I wrote a letter to the parents in my life. I’m blessed to have so many. I shared it with them before I published it here… I wondered if any readers may get something out of this powerful moment of authenticity in my life. Happy Reading!! 
Dear Moms and Dads,
I’d like to think you understand me… How truly different I feel in this world and how challenging it’s been to navigate that.
Though I don’t wish to project my particular struggles onto Norah, I can’t actually imagine showing her that this life (typical American society) is the only way to live.
And.
Lacinda, the whole and complete human you created ages before motherhood doesn’t wish to continue (for much longer) trying to fit in this box. I can’t commit to one path because I don’t authentically want any of them. Continuing to force myself makes me an unhappy person, pushes me further from the powerhouse I know I am, AND allows the labels upon me of “quitter” and “scattered” (among others) that make it hundreds of times harder to see myself as I am.
This is actually true for nearly every divine human I’ve ever met, including you.To many, I’ve joked about moving to Hawaii to live a commune life, but there’s truth in every jest.
I deeply want to see value in feeling some level of mastery in this style of living before we move on. I don’t believe I’m quite done here and probably have much to gain in progressing in the “normal” and societally “acceptable” ways. There’s growth everywhere and I am no stranger to allowing it in.
But I will try something new. “Someday” is getting closer.
Whatever I choose will likely be radical under the view of most people. (I know… You’re shocked 
)
)I hope you choose radically, too. I deeply wish for you to experience what it may be like to be free of the struggles laid upon us in this life. I wholly believe being born grants us the right to just live. To simply BE. To wake with the sun, rest when we’re tired, and not always have somewhere to rush off to keep the lights on…
It’s not possible here.
Here, we have to pay. Literally pay, while sadly dreaming of our freedom… More likely ending up on our death beds wishing we’d done something worthwhile with our 90 years.
I won’t deny my soul forever… I can’t accept setting Norah up to deny hers. Telling her she’s free while she watches me (and everyone she loves) slave makes less and less sense to me each day in this mess.
I want to show her.
To me, this means showing her all of it. And so, whatever I choose for us next will not be permanent. Nothing is.
I plan to build a magical life full of real experiences because we (all of us) deserve nothing less.
I don’t know what this looks like for our family yet. I wanted you to know anyway, now. I promise to keep you in the loop as this journey unfolds.
I am grateful in every way for the support and guidance you’ve always provided. You inspire me in ways I couldn’t put in words. The realization of my ability to choose a life that cultivates actual joy is possible at your hands, hearts, and encouragement. You made me. I was born free. Thank you, for always.
Love,
La 
Lollie 
your Baby Girl 
Neeneeneenee 
Lacinda Sue 
Recent Comments